the difference between your real and imaginary boyfriends

my 'real' boyfriend called me after 1 week and said
rbf: 'hey - why haven't you returned my calls?'
me: you haven't called me - anyway - i'm really busy.
rbf: i've called.
me: no you haven't.
rbf: anyway - its been quite a week. i lost my jacket
pause
rbf: but then i bought a new one at a thrift store. its down.
pause
me: i'm really busy i have to go.

fake boyfriend didn't email me for one week
fbf: Sugar, my computer died, else I would have been happily in a parlay with you. Want to let you know in a hurry that I have not forgotten about you, and I will send you lengthy tidings the moment I get the old man up and running. Hope all is well in your world, dear.